||[Oct. 16th, 2005|12:36 pm]
|||||Destroy the World Around Me - Mushroomhead||]|
What is wrong with me????
Why do I do the stupid shit?
How come I always fuck something good up??
I lost my best friend over my stupid ass...I pissed his girlfriend off... I not human anymore...I'm an abomination of hell that does not deserve life... I used to be a happy, god loving, always there for friends, loving my family and life little kid and know I hate everything and everyone.... I rejected god for he devil... What the Fuck? I'm a failure at everything... Wrestling, School, friendships, family... the only thing I'm good at is fucking everything up... I know why I look the way I look... God is punishing me for turning to Satin instead of talking to him, for betraying friends, for lying to my family... I wish my twin would have been born with me... Now I'm a half empty soul with no friends.........I'm starting all over today... This is my last entry... I reject all works of Satin... I am no longer going to speak because I will always fuck things up. That is my curse... I will no longer let it come out... I will only speak to God, my Mother and Father, and to my Elders who teach me the right ways of life... To my friends.... I'm so sorry for everything I've ever done to offend you, for every remark, for every time I yelled at you for no reason, for hating you for the type of music you listened to... For not being able to do things on my own with out your help....
If you see it fit... Forgive me... with will not bother me if you don't because I have been to offensive to you and the word of god... I'm truly sorry... I have no right to even call you friends because you are more then I will ever be... I'm lower than SCUM. I am a ABOMINATION against the word of god. I must suffer the consequence's for my actions.